Ok so as promised my battle with the nefarious bat who resides within the family latrine. I'm just kicking it out in the latrine at around 4 in the morning having a ball. I'm answering an urgent call of nature which my charming mother always referred to as "the trots". To use plainer terms for all of you readers who are unfamiliar with the charming colloquial jargon of my mother I was dealing with a case of travelers diarrhea at an ungodly hour. The beauty of this is it's an outdoor latrine and instead of a door there is a bit of a zig zagging pathway into the open air latrine so that other people can't see in. Inside is simply a hole in the ground and a wooden cover with a handle on it that covers the hole in an attempt at combating the odors below.
Well I find myself squatting over this bad boy at 4 am supporting myself against the back wall with one hand because I haven't quite mastered this whole squatting thing and I suddenly hear a muted flapping noise. My brains first answer is that it is just my host brother's pet pigeon once again trying to fly despite his clipped wings. Hopefully. Well it wasn't, I look up and there is this bat flying at me, not from above, but at face level through the little winding pathway. Well I'm low on options, I can't leave my position above the latrine due to my current condition so fleeing is out of the question and I have one hand occupied holding myself up in this bizarre crab-like position so with my free hand I do what any sane human would do and proceed to slap a bat in the face, right out of the air. Well this works temporarily. I have knocked my adversary back through the pathway, but I hear the muted flapping that can only mean that he is coming for round two. I'm not confident that I can successfully slap this thing again so I quickly grab the wooden latrine cover and wield it like a shield as I again knock the bat back whence it came. Now please remember that throughout this whole ordeal I am stuck in a one handed crab-like squatting position and my "business" has not subsided because life doesn't work that way. Well now that I have refreshed you of my predicament I then preceded to engage in some weird game of Mario tennis with this bat as he repeatedly flew back through that pathway and I was forced to repeatedly beat him back with a damn latrine cover. After about six rounds he finally gave up and hopefully flew off to do that to someone else. I was finally able to finish up, clean up, and return to my room to try to get back to sleep while my body pumps adrenaline in preparation for an ensuing battle with a bat that was never to come. Well Burkina, you won that one, well played.
Next update should be a recap on my housing shopping spree in the capital. Thank you and good night!
